A Recipe to Keep Vampires At Bay

A little garlic, judiciously used, won’t seriously affect your social life and will tone up more dull dishes than any commodity discovered to date.  ~ Alexander Wright, ‘How to Live Without a Woman’ (1937)

It’s that time of year where garlic goes into every single meal. It’s nearly unbearable to stand near or around me, not to mention @therocketnarcissist. In fact, there are days that we don’t even want to stand near each other.

But when you love garlic — and it’s garlic season — it’s so freakin’ hard to resist.

A few days ago, we added a whole bulb of Russian Red (the real potent shit) to a black pepper & garlic stir fry (an homage to the dish that I so dearly miss from the good ol’days of Thai One On).

It was fine. We were fine – sitting alone, in our living room post-dinner, not harming any noses but our own. That’s how it works. Couples who eat garlic together, stay together.

You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times. ~ Morley Safer

Because garlic goes with almost any cuisine, we’ve had a chance to use up a horde of in-season vegetables that we pick up either at the Pemberton Farmers Market on Fridays or one of the two Whistler Farmers Markets.

Recent hauls netted us several varietals of tomatoes and spicy peppers, plus basil, eggplant, broccoli, spaghetti squash, onions, leeks and zucchini.

Now, legend has it that Pemberton villagers almost never resort to buying a zucchini due to the simple fact that even those with a documented plant-killing history can grow award winning zucchinis in Pemberton’s personal produce patches. But, for those of us living in Pemberton south south (aka. Emerald Estates), we’re well outside of the prime growing zone.

Due to your zucchini glut, a recent call was made for ideas. And, I happily supplied a list of google-able dishes.

But after reading “Zucchini Two Ways” I felt inspired to contribute an actual recipe. Although this pancake could be found almost anywhere (and your recipe might even be better than the one found here), the heavy-on-the-garlic toppings, inspired by “What’s All The Fuss About Garlic?“, really are what made this recipe special.

I see recipes calling for one clove of garlic. One clove of garlic is not enough for any recipe unless it’s a recipe for, ‘how to cook one clove of garlic’ – even in this case use two. ~ Unknown

Note to cooks: As mentioned in “Stop glorifying the summit and enjoy the climb: an astrological forecast for pasta makers”, I rarely follow a recipe or remember to write down specifics. So again, rustic, untested instructions follow:


1 cup all purpose flour

1 tsp baking powder

¾ cup of milk

2 tbsp butter, melted

1 egg

1 cup of grated zucchini

Mix the dry together. Mix the wet together, including the melted butter. Squeeze the zucchini lightly to remove some of the juice.

Mix the zucchini shreds into the flour. Pour in the wet ingredients and mix until combined. I give a little flour if it’s too wet or add a little zucchini juice or milk if it’s too dry.

Add fat (lard, butter or high-heat oil) to a cast-iron skillet on medium-high (our burner is a little weak, so you might go lower if you’re cooking on gas or a powerful cooktop). Place about ¼ cup of batter into the skillet, use a spatula to flatten & spread it out a bit. Add more batter, leaving enough space between pancakes to get your flipper in there.

Flip once puffier on top and golden on the bottom.

Sorry, from here you’ll have to use your judgment to determine when it’s time to serve. My pan tends to get hotter as time goes on, so I turn it down and leave them a little longer – until the inside is cooked. I might even crack one open to see if it’s done.

Tomato “Salsa”

1 cup of chopped tomatoes

1 handful of roughly chopped basil

2 – 4 cloves of garlic, minced (no. of cloves dependent on variety and personal preference, but we rolled the dice and went with 4)

½ lemon squeezed

We used a variety of tomatoes that offered different flavours and textures. Simply chop them about the same size – we used a ½ of cherry tomato as the measure.

Toss the ingredients in a bowl. It’s best when given a little time to marinate.

Garlic is divine. Few food items can taste so many distinct ways, handled correctly. Misuse of garlic is a crime…Please, treat your garlic with respect…Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic.  ~ Anthony Bourdain (Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly)

Blue Cheese Dressing

2 tbsp plain yogurt

2 tbsp crumbled blue cheese

1 tbsp honey

Mix together.

Top your pancakes and enjoy.

August 2018 (7 of 7)


Lisa Severn is going to the Whistler Writer’s Festival’s Cooks with Books: Passionate Locovore Edition — and she thinks you should too.


Start a conversation about food with Lisa over @rhubarbstreet or look for more on Lisa and her co-conspirators… err… co-contributors.


“Garlic Quotes.” found here https://www.torontogarlicfestival.ca/garlic-quotes/

Images and recipes are by Lisa.